I want to watch
watch myself
commit suicide
lonely, lovely, tragic suicide

I want to watch
watch the tragic death of melodrama
from high upon the thin rail
of the bridge I always follow
when the streetlamps
mark the end of the tunnel
and the answers seem so close
in the darkness spread below me
and the stars stretched out above me
between the thin tops of the trees

I want to watch
watch myself
hold the light that's in the middle
as i climb onto that fateful metal
and smile up to the stars
before i breathe in deep and dive into the answers
to the questions that I did and never had to ask,
while I'm walking by with my hands shoved in my pockets
and a sad smile pulling up the corners of my lips
as my head drops to a respectful nod
as my shoes slip off the barrier
and that other me goes falling through that sea
of everything that I wish i was and wasn't
and the things I never thought that i could be

And I'd watch
watch the suicide
the silent death
of melodrama
as i slipped into that space
of never was and never is.
With my hands shoved in my pockets
and a few steps along a bridge.